I am learning to let go and not stress about things I can’t change. This is HUGE for me. I’m usually the one who is panicked, worried, and off my dinner over a comment that leaves me wondering if I’ve inadvertently upset someone, or unsure if I’ll get the assignment I’ve been chasing. Things that I know I can’t do anything about immediately that tie me up in knots. But you know how ‘they’ say that we teach what we most need to learn? Well this week I’ve been working with clients and several have mentioned that they too get all tied up in knots over similar things. Then the first ‘aha’ moment. I realised I was saying that they needed to work out if they could do something about the challenge of the moment, and if not, they needed to put it in a ‘safe place’ until they could. And while it was in that safe place, they could trust that it would be there when they were ready and able to deal with it, but that worry would not change the shape or size of it at all – and so to focus on other things for now. As I listened to this good advice I was sharing, I realised I needed to take it for myself too.
Then I heard myself twice say to someone else, that if something is not working the way it should, that perhaps instead of worrying it to death, try instead to consider what she needed to learn from the necessary change it was going to mean making. Then I had my second ‘aha’ moment. I also needed to learn this.
Finally, I had another client this week with whom I shared a discussion about making the present perfect. ‘Present Perfect’ is a state of allowing what ever is happening right now to be ok. Even if it’s getting stuck in traffic, or spilling something, missing something, or making a mistake – what ever it is, be it that it affects you for a moment, an hour or a day, or even much bigger than that, to make it ok, and realise it’s all just part of the universe’s way of ensuring you end up being or doing something better, or different that has longer, bigger, better or totally different outcomes, that end up being so much better.
My third a-haa moment.
I found that inside all three of these insights I was sharing with others, were valuable lessons for myself too and that specifically the timing for each was significant for me right now.
And so, I thought long and hard about these lessons, took them on board and decided to work (really hard) on letting go of the what-ifs and maybe’s that often leave me feeling stuck, inadequate or unsure.
I also realised that the way we get our lessons is sometimes hugely profound and meaningful and that maybe we are all serving as messengers for those we meet each day. What an interesting concept.